Do you feel that you’re not good enough to teach something, apply for a high paid job, or just share ideas with your friends?
I used to feel like this every time I would start a new project and, to be honest, I still feel like this sometimes.
This feeling is a very common condition and known as “Impostor syndrome.” It describes people who are unable to internalize their accomplishments. This feeling tricks you into thinking that you are not good enough to do something, and when that happens, you end up doing nothing.
It’s a psychological safe that prevents you from exposing yourself to rejection and keeps you in the comfort zone.
If you consider the last sentence it sounds like a good thing but if you want to have a big personal growth and achieve more in your life, you should leave your comfort zone sometimes.
How can you fight impostor syndrome? You need to get a lot of personal confidence.
Of course, this opens up new questions and limiting beliefs. For example, I’m introverted by nature, I can’t express myself when talking to people, I’m terrified of public speaking, and many other situations.
Well, the good news is that confidence is a skill, and you can master it.
Most of the time our lack of confidence becomes very obvious when we need to talk to other people, so I want to give five tips that helped me out a lot during years.
1. Force yourself to start conversations
It will be uncomfortable in the beginning, but it’s the best exercise to get more confident. You can open a dialog with a compliment or introducing yourself, then try to ask about the life, job and interests of the other person.
I learned this is one of the bests habits you can internalize; It will boost your confidence fast and at the same time expand your personal and professional network.
2. Listen more than you talk, use the information to your favor
Learn the name of the other person as soon as possible and remember it, the best way to do that is getting interested in the subject of conversation, pay attention, and ask about details using the other person’s words and name.
People love to talk about their things and more than that, they love to listen to their name. Say their name often, this will increase your confidence in the eyes of the counterpart, and you will feel it.
3. Be as prepared as you can
If you’re going to a job interview, learn about the company, arrive early, and ask questions. Show that you know what you want and you’re confident with your experience.
If I meet with clients, I tend not to overextend my answers with unnecessary examples and stories unless it is pertinent. I just give clear and short answers. With this, you’ll show respect for the time of everybody at the meeting.
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4. Pay attention to the tone of your voice
People will get bored if you talk in a monotone voice, and that could be a big hit on your confidence. So try to show more feelings with your words and expressions.
Conversations are way more interesting when you can feel and see other people’s excitement about what you are saying.
Just don’t overdo it or people will think you just took some ecstasy. You don’t need to scream, and you can blink as usual.
5. Ask and be thankful for feedback
Ask for sincere feedback and always be thankful, especially if it’s something that you didn’t like to hear.
Remember, being confident doesn’t mean that you cannot be vulnerable or transparent.
If your boss or a client gives you some feedback that looks like complaining, dig more, ask details and learn as much as you can. You will earn a lot of respect and also will help you to improve whatever are you doing.
Thanks to the boost in confidence these five tips gave me, I spent the last three years working remotely and traveling the world. I got huge increases in salary and created relationships with influencers that changed my life.
You can change your life too! Give it a shot and next time you’re in Starbucks start a conversation with somebody, it could even be with the barista.
Tell me, what is the thing that makes you uncomfortable. Job interviews? Public speaking? Talking to strangers? Leave a comment.
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